Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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Whats Black and White and Red all over ? A Zebra laying in a pool of its own blood.

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What's the difference between Cindy Crawford and a Snickers bar? Nothing. One is a mediocre actress, the other is a peanut based bar of chocolate confectionary.

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A man comes home from work and finds his wife in bed with his next-door neighbor. Furious, he shouts 'What's the meaning of this?!' And his wife answers 'A pronoun used to identify a specific person or thing close at hand or being indicated or experienced'.

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A boy wakes up in the morning and says i"'m feeling kind of fishy today," the boy's dad walks in and relpies "that's because you are a fish."

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A: What did the banana say to the other banana? B: I don't know, what? A: I don't know either, I was hoping you did.

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What is orange and smells like a jewish cat. Nothing

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Your time.

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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Why does mexico not have an Olympic team? They do

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knock knock piss off

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Doctor, Doctor, I feel like there's two of me! There's not. Your long lost twin died of terminal cancer.

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Like why period? Why can't mother nature just call and be like ''Wassup girl? You're not pregnant, I'll talk to you next month.''

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Why did Jimmy through a glass at spouse? Jimmy was an abusive husband who had a tendancy to drink too much.

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What looks like a chair but isn't? A picture of a chair.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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How do you get a one armed man out of a tree? you throw a fridge at him

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

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how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

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The Barackness Monster

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"33"

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What's the difference between a blonde and a blow up doll? The blonde is a person, you sexist asshole.

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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