why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

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What did one cancer patient say to the other? Nothing, both of them were dead.

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Q. What do you call cheese that's not yours? A. Stolen, you're under arrest.

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Jeremy has 8 apples. Susie has 3. how much does Jason have? Purple because aliens don't like grapes.

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Why was the little boy late to school Cause he walked on a landmine

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What do a fish and a moose have in common? They both live under water, apart from the moose.

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What's cold, limp, approximately 65 pounds, and being dragged out of that pool with no safety fence over there? Not important, lets go get some Wendy's man.

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Q: What did Delaware? A: A black dress. She was on her way to her father's funeral.

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Why don't you play uno with Mexicans? Because they collect all the green cards.

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What has wings and windows? A bluebird, I was nodding about the windows!

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knock knock a man walks into a bar what do you call a horse with no legs dave who?

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In my opinion I am superior to you all in every single way,an opinion you might disagree with, but can respect. While on the other hand, I have no reason to respect and even less agree with your inferior opinions at all.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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What do you call someone who kills black people? A hero.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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A guy walks into a bar Many people gather around him to see if he is alright and to tell him he needs to watch where he is going.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because a tree fell on her. Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally...

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: a pizza is a food that was created in italy and is regularly eaten daily around the world and a jew is a religion that is constantly criticized and made fun of because they are different.

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My children are huge mistakes.

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So snoop dog drank some milk! :)

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?.

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A midget walks under a bar

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Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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why did the black boy read a book. Because he had a book report due next week

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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