What is the difference between Terri Schaivo and a basket of rotting vegetables? The rotting vegetables aren't edible.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he was dead.

A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

What's worse than failing out of high school? Finding out your mom has cancer.

Wanna hear a funny story? Sure Ok.

If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

roses are red, violets are blue, get in that bed or I stick your head down the loo! Christian grey

Black people

A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why did we start questioning the philosophical reasoning of chickens?

Whats worse than a dead dog? 5 dead babies and a dead dog...

Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner there is no god and everybody hates you.

How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

A man is talking to his friend at work. The man asks his friend, "Did you see the game last night?" Then a plane crashes into the building and we call it 911

Gifted Education classes learning social studies curriculum.

Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

Why did the kid cross the road? He was strapped to a chicken!

A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

Who flexes triceps more than anyone? James

where do the women go? the womanarium

Q: What do you call a black man sitting on a bench? A: Whatever his name is.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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