What did the marshmallow say to the other marshmallow? We are both bananas.

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How do you get a baby out of the blender? Pour it

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What do u call a gay dinosaur? Dinosaurs don't exist

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Why couldn't little Jimmy see his mum in the crowd? Because he was blind.

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What's an anti joke? Then I ate my digestive biscuit.

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What does a black car thief do with a stolen car? Drive it

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You mean I have to type in this little box? That's so embarrassing!

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Saggy Nipples By chan chan

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a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

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what do you call a sick eagle illegal

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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Why did the black man have blood on his hands? He was a surgeon

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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Who is Jim Wonderbread? A whorrible person

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Knock knock Who's there? Justin Bieber OH MY GOD REALLY?! No.

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A high school student finally gets the nerve to ask his long-time crush on a date. They begin dating, and eventually settle down and get married. After six months of marriage, she dies in a car crash and he spends years in therapy.

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

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Why wasn't the Asian at work? Because the sweat shop was closed on Sundays...

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How do you kill a black man There is many ways

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What do you call cheese that isnt yours? Stolen cheese.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?' The horse says "I was just diagnosed with testicular cancer."

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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