Q. How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Light bulbs don't exist

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did you hear about the platypus that was found dead in the middle of death valley?

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What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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Why should you never trust anglers? Because they're always into fishy business... Why should you never trust hunters? Because they carry loaded guns...

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What do you call a black guy that feeds children? A waiter

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how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

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Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

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When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

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what is big and can make things come out? a gun

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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-Knock Knock - Who's there? - Child Protective Services, we have multiple reports of you abusing several of your children...

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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What can be said about a high school drop out who is 30, lives with his mom, and plays WoW all day? He is probably a very high level mage

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Q: How did the Irishman die? A: He was old.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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Compton

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops