A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's the connection between Obama and Michael Jackson? They both want to be a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why are apathy,ignorance, and resentment alike? I dont know and I don't care to know.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

You have 10 apples and 12 cabbages How many pizzas can you fit on the roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Whats green and can kill you when it falls from a tree? a pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How do I get to Carnegie Hall? The address is 881 Seventh Avenue at 57th street in New York. it's beside the Russian Tea Room and almost directly across from the IESE school of business. The Russian Tea Room has a large bright red awning out front and a large carving of three dancing bears on the face of the building, the bears are covered in gold leaf. You can't miss it.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A Jew, Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. They have fun there a good time and then they go home.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Whats black, white and dusty? A nuns fan-y because it never gets used

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

penispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenis

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Roses are blue vilotets are yellow, obviously I don't know this rhyme so well u have aids and will die of cancer at the age of 25, and so will ur mom

thumb_up thumb_down -37

One day, a bear happoned across a man and said "How do you do today good sir?" but the man ran away screaming "OH CRAP, BEARS!!!!" because it just sounded like bear growling (which i would love to dedicate to my friend Chris Bradley, just to make the ball to stick ratio too high)

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Q: What's funny about a gay man being raped by men for being gay? A: The man's personality

thumb_up thumb_down -39

So you all no Dora right, well why is she always lost in the forest wit her friend boots? Whats the deal with the map everybody knows maps cannot talk!!!!!!!!!!!! What the heck is wrong with the makers of the show!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A tree fell in the forest. The person in the house it hit heard it.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Little Jimmy's mommy loved to see the smile on her only son's face as he ate her homemade cookies. Due to lack of medical knowledge at the time, Little Jimmy contracted diabetes and died before he turned 30. Unmarried and childless, he was diligently working on his doctorate thesis on Astrophysics. His death marked the end of his family line.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What do you get when you mix a baby and a fork? An abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Pain is temporary. However, the scars from 3rd degree burns are forever.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

what did the tree say to the other tree? Don't leaf me!

thumb_up thumb_down -43

A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops