What do you call a purple chicken eating a bicycle? A purple chicken eating a bicycle

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being molested by a giant octopus.

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why did the Chinese man fail the driving test because he had no previous driving experience and wasn't prepared for the test

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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A man sees the most beautiful woman he's ever seen on the street. He takes her into a dark alley and r.apes her.

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A planes crashes on the US-Canada border. The survivors are promptly taken to a hospital nearby to be treated for their injuries.

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What is white and smells like wood? White painted wood

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Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interupting doc- You have aids.

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

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why couldnt jimmys feet touch the ground? he was hanging.

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A girl asks a guy are you finish. The guy says no I'm British.

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Roses are red violets are blue. Yes.

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Why was the house painted pink? I dont know, why don't you ask the owner?

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Why was the chicken afaid to cross the road? because there was no road.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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michael: How old do I look? stranger: about 68? How old are you? michael: I cant remember I have alzheimers. michael: How old do I look?

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

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why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

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Q: Who followed E.T.A Hoffman? A: ASAP Rocky. (ETA and ASAP are both time-based abbreviations, ETA meaning 'estimated time of arrival' and ASAP meaning 'as soon as possible'. Thus, ASAP can form a response to a requested ETA. Additional humour comes from the dissonant occupations of the two individuals: E.T.A Hoffman being a nineteenth century gothic author, and ASAP Rocky being a modern rapper.)

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Why did the girl drop her vannlia ice cream? Vannlia Ice punched her for being cool as ice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops