When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

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The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

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Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

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What did I write on this website? This antijoke.

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Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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