What did the pie say to the other pie? "I'm hungry" So he ate the other pie.

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A black and a mexican jump off a building, What a tragedy...

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What's the difference a ham and bugs bunny? -When I see a ham on the dinner table, I eat it. When I see bugs bunny on the dinner table and asks me "what's up, doc?" I stay away from sugar for a while and get tested for heroin

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Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

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What is the best way to deal with a broken ankle? Ear Lobes.

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Why did the little boy stick a fork in the electrical socket? Because he wanted to escape his abusive stepfather

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What happened to the couple that got married? They went on their honeymoon.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four in the seats, twenty six in the ash tray, and thirty in the gas chamber.

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A woman walks out of the kitchen, she gets slapped by her sexist husband.

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Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

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Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

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WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE HAVING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION? Dead

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A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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Why was rebecca crying? Because her mum had just died in a house fire!!!

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Why was OJ Simpson's knife covered in blood? Because he just murdered his wife.

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If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

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Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

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What is a holocaust survivors favorite food nothing

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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A man, John, is talking amongst a group of friends. He tells a racist joke and sees that one of his colored friends, Mark, is laughing at his joke, but John can tell that Mark's offended. John later apologizes to his friend because that is the right thing to do.

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How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

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What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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