Whats worse than burnt toast? Getting molested

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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What do you do when you do what the do is the do for the do to do what you're doing that's done for what she did if you didn't do what not to do? ^error

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

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Why was the blonde crying? She had just been raped by a 10-foot praying mantis.

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Q. What did Grandmother get Little Boy Johnny for Christmas? A. Nothing. She died on Thanksgiving Day.

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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Why did the chicken Cross the road? Because a Blackman was chasing his dinner

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" So let's set the world on fire..." Q: How do you do that? A: Strike a match...

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Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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Why did the Koala Fall out of the tree, It was Dead

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That was SOOOOO funny that I laughed!!!!!

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lol

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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