How do you kill a fashion icon? First make sure their blonde and stupid like most. then take a barstool preferably or what ever is closest then........ WACK HER IN THE EMPTY SPOT WHERE HER BRAIN SHOULD BE.

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How do you take a Mexican's money? You can't because they have none.

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Elephant. Elephant who? Seatbelt.

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You don't

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because her husband was abusive and he killed her for not making him a sandwich. They had to take the body the the funeral home so she could have a proper ceremony. Her friends and family mourned her daeth.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. Your mom is the punchline.

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm chuck norris. And I approve of this message.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

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What's worse than getting raped? getting raped by a horse in car while listening to nickelback

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Q:what do you do when a black guy is drowning A:you dont

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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What do you get when you cross a monkey and a fish? An unlikely premise upon which to base a joke

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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What looks like a 50p and has a narrow back?

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I used to be an inventor, but I had other ideas.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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Why did the black guy flunk out of school? Because his socio-economic conditions and his lack of support from his parents didn't provide optimal learning conditions.

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A seal walks into a club. Do you like my new shoes?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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