What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in every apple.

What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

What do you call a man with no legs? A cripple

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

What does an emu an a kiwi have in common? Both are flightless birds endemic to there own countries.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

Why do black guys have brown skin ? Because there born that way

OK. so a guy walks up to another guy and says hi. The other guy said nothing. The other guy said hi again. The guy said nothing The guy got really mad and slapppeed him across the face. Finally the man said PURPLE RABBID COMPUTER TREES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and walked away while liking his blue brick.

You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

What is black and white and red all over? Two Nuns in a chainsaw fight.

what did Stephen Hawking say to the prositute? nothing, because he has a disability which renders him unable to speak

What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!


Want more? You might be interested in...