Pitbull is Mr. Worldwide because his music sucks everywhere in the world

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What's the same about a crouton and a pencil case? Both are used for dirty things, such as shoe tying.

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Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

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69

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What's black can run really fast and jump really high? A panther

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Why did the car cross the road? Green light

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobel Nobel who? There was no bell, that's why I'm knocking you idiot

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I can't wait to eat this bagel! Yes you can. Yeah, I guess you're right.

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Bum: Excuse me, can you spare some change? Rich man: No

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Why are there no swimming pools in Mexico? The average yearly income is $3,523, and pool chemicals are very expensive.

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Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

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Q: What's green and goes through walls? A: A pickle, you just have to throw it really hard.

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Oh wow, I've never seen one that big before. Thats what the 12 year old boy said as he starred at the the Great Pyramid of Pharaoh Khufu.

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How long does it take a black woman to have a baby? Nine months, give or take a few days depending on whether she goes into labour early or not.

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How do you make a basketball team short You cut off their legs

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? NOT SALLY

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Why did the homeless man get a house key cut? He didn't he's homeless.

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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An asian is driving a car. He observes the speed limit and uses his turning signals while switching lanes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there? Alzheimers

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Why is there a dead pakistani on my couch? Because someone put him there.

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What is grey and looks like a rock? A rock

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what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they smell bad and are ugly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops