My friend died by getting shot in the head. But he respawned back at his checkpoint.

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OMG this actually works! 1. Hold your breath for 5 minutes 2. Die

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What's 9+10? 19

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What did the blonde do when her car broke down? Made a Facebook status about then called animal control.

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Why is Steve Jobs dead, but Bill Gates isn't? Because Bill Gates wasn't diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer.

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What's the difference between a whore and a blonde? There is not enough information to answer this question.

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Why do girls not have penises? Because there girls

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Your biggest fan.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Why shouldn't you play poker in the woods? Due to the stereotypical lack of human population in such an area, it would be excruciatingly difficult to find a partner with which to play competitive card games. I suggest trying solitaire instead.

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What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

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A man walks into a hospital with a panicked expression, and rushes to his doctor's office. "Doctor, I am in tremendous pain when I breath!" "Hmm, seems to be a lung problem, take one of these antibiotics twice a day." "Thank you so much!" "Oh yah! Your family was brutally killed in a sixteen car pile up."

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How did the blond become a lawyer? She didnt. After many years of collage and studying, she broke down and quit, and became a stripper.

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why bouriquet can not read is book ? cause he's retarted

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How does the cow say cash i dont know ask him he is the cow.

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Why did the boy laugh? Mr Tickle was his babysitter

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How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

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what happens when chuck norris does a push up. he pushes himself up

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What did the cashier say to the customer? You're total is $27.95

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A blonde walks into a bar... Typical

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Roses are red Violets are blue TEST: Are roses red?

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Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

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Why cant Joe drive his tractor? Because he doesn't have any arms or legs. Why doesn't Joe have any arms or legs? BECAUSE JOE IS A POTATO.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops