Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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wanna here a dirty joke? Suree A white horse fell in a mud puddle dum dumdum dum duuuuuuummmm

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Your mother was a hamster, And your father smelt of ElderBerries!

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Tits. Tits, who? SUCK EM'!

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What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

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What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

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What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

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Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

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Why did Sally flunk math? Because she didn't achieve the passing grade which is 60 percent or greater. She might need some tutoring in order to master the concept of the lessons to which she has difficulty solving.

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Why didnt Santa give the little Girl her Pony? Santas not real.

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What's worse than a 15 year old getting hit by a car? Adam Johnson

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What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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your mom is so old. she can legally get a senior discount

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Their, they're, there You're, your

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Yo Mama so slow She can't run very fast.

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When Nicki Minaj wrote her song "Stupid Hoe" she was sublimminally talking about her self.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops