Why did Jimmy cross the road? Because a chicken was about to cross the road, and he wanted to be kind and help the old 72-aged chicken get across the road. Because Jimmy had a grandfather that passed away because he was too old and nobody helped him cross the road. Jimmy is haunted by that memory and doesn't want that to happen to anyone else. Especially a chicken.... Also there were no cars and his best friend chicken was on the other side waiting for him.

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Q: What did the Big Bad Wolf say to Little Red Riding Hood? A: Nothing, wolfs are mentally nor physically capable of talking

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What has feet but cannot walk? What has a beak but cannot peck? What has wings but cannot fly? A dead bird.

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What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

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What's the difference between a wife and a chef? A chef has the choice to leave the kitchen.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its feet are both the same.

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Okay, I just really want you to trust me again,

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Hey, I just met you... No, I'm your brother. You've known me for 30 years. You must have memory loss.

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Why was the man called Big Larry? His name was Larry and he was morbidly obese.

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I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

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when im sad im feel horny i rape little children -jimmy saville , last words of the diary

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Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

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What does tupperware and a walrus have in common? they both like a tight seal

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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Why did the chicken cross the street? I would rather live in a world a chicken's motives would not be questioned.

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What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

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what did the fish say when he was eaten by a shark nothing fish cant talk

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What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

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Knock knock Who's there Police

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What did the gay guy get at the grocery store? A tub of Häagen-Dazs ice cream because he thought he deserved a treat.

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do you know that joke? hmm no.. yaa life!

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. It is ignorant and offensive to judge the world of cardinal numbers, where protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary, by the standards of human societies.

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Take this and put it- No.

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I was sitting next to a man with jelly in one ear and peanut butter in the other, so I turned to him and said "Are you a trifle deaf?" and he said "No, I'm mentally ill."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops