Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

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Knock Knock trick or treats? here is the candies, have fun kids!

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What do you call two gay black men in one sleeping bag? There names

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Dr Dr I think I have diarrhea You have irritable bowel syndrome, I recommend IBS support

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A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

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What is the meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything in it? I'm not sure at rhe moment, but it will take aproximately seven and a half million years of thinking for me to find out.

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Knock knock Who's there? Be Be who? Be yourself

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YEAH WELL SMELL YOUR BREATH U BELLEND

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When life gives you lemons, you realise that life isn't a physical object and therefore you have problems. Have a nice day.

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Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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When life gives you lemons, find someone with a papercut.

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He was. I am sorry, he knows to much, this is for the well being of everyone, including yourself, he will be going down, the order has been given.

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Q. What do you get when a banana and a person mate? A. The banana suffocates

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knock knock whos there open the door and find out

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kyle dosnt question his sexuality

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Hey Eliz, just a final thought, if and when I die (hey I am your step dad after all, dont forget I am four years older than you now! So ill die first anyway, hopefully) Promise me that you will call me on the phone and either yell SNAKE ANSWER ME SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Or BOSS ANSWER ME BOOOOOOOOOOSS! Never mind, I never liked videogames ironically, but hey, its funny, Suddenly this Boss guy shows up, and I feel like I have something in common with someone! A game character anyway, and its a fucking boring game too, just sneaking around, then you got to well pay people to build shit and I shut it off by then... ...Finally the nurses are here... Those guys again, hey guys, I cant speak nor remember what button to press to delete shit, but I heard bogosexuals with an h, dont get the message, you see the man with broken fingers there, go get me female nurses or... They sleeping? And not with me? Okay guys, get me out of here, I am humiliating myself in front of my uh... Frienddaughtersisterthing as for the rest of you fucks, has it ever seemed like I have ever cared about your inferior opinions above my superhuma... I am drun or something huh guys? 60 MG valium? You fucking murderers! Well will that other dru.. Fine then... Nero The End? Seriously flaggots! I cant stop typing, just get me out of this... Wheelchair? When did that happen? Well roll me out then! And please you know, fill that code thing and the terms and all that.

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How do u get a baby to stop choking? Take ur c*ck out if its mouth!!!

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Why couldn't timmy brush his hair? He had leukaemia

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? -Nothing, he doesn't know sign language.

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Q: What is red and green and goes 100/mph? A: A frog in a blender

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Shaniqua: Knock knock Random black guy: Who is there? Shaniqua: It's me your girlfriend I had a really nice meeting with my dick Random black guy:What?

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what's the hardest part about microwaving a baby? holding the camera and masturbating

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops