Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second muffin and says "OH MY GOD I CAN TALK!" the second muffin is so shaken in its beliefe system by a talking muffin that it commits suicide.

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What does Santa do on Halloween? He gives out candy to the kids who come to his door.

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Chuck Norris once walked into a strip club, and had quite a nice time indeed!

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Shut the cork up!

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There is a middle-eastern man in customs with a turban and a briefcase and he is profiled by his race which is a sad fact of our society.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Two guys walk into a bar the third guy ducks

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What do you do when a man in a corner offers you candy? You walk away.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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why is santa so jolly? hes not hes a fictional character made up by our parents imagination

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Q: What's worse than finding 1 worm in your apple? A: Finding 2 worms in your apple Q: What's worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? A: The Holocaust Q: What's worse than the Holocaust? A: Finding 3 worms in your apple!

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How do you make someone think your wierd? Pretend to be a panda.

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Quick its the weed hide the cops! ... wait...

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I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

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do you want to hear a joke?

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Q: Who lives in a pinaple under the sea? A: Garry

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A man fell off a cliff... He died a vicious death.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? I would rather live in a world a chicken's motives would not be questioned.

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Rudolf the rednosed reindeer died today. He was reported flying over Madrid when he was hit by a jumbo jet and a flock of seagulls. People are now saying that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Plenty of things

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Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

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Debating on internet is like competing in the paralympics, even if you win you're still retarded

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs. A pharmisict.

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If you don't see any banners here, it doesn't mean they aren't here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops