What's the same about eggnog and a computer? You can search the web. Except that's only true for one of them.

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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Why did the fat guy sit on another guy? They were in a wrestling match.

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Q: What is your favorite color? M: Blue

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How could you ever watch a man hit another man and say nothing? UFC is on at 9:00pm.

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Q: What is worse than The Apocalypse? A: Darkseid, Thanathos, Red Hulk, Onslaught, come on The Apocalypse cant even beat the X-men! Moral: "I AM THE APOCALYPSE, YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE!"

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Rose's are red, Violet's are blue, I have a gun... Get in the van!

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? I agree to the terms of service.

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Yo momma's so fat, her lifespan is probably going to be very short and you will have to bury her soon.

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UP

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocost

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You know what's better than a taco? A better taco.

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Girls got to Jupiter to get more stupider. Boys go to Mars to build a sophisticated civilization.

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The blondes on the opposite part of the lake is a pretty good joke

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What is red and has seven dents? Snow White's Cherry.

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What'f funny and has 8 wheels? The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels

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your momma is so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

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- Mom, you've got a banana in your ear. - Son I can't hear you I've got a banana in my ear!

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What did the blind football player say to his coach? I cant see

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Yo mama so fat... Her doctor told her she's morbidly obese and she has 2 years to live if she doesn't change her eating habits and exercise regularily.

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I dont know, are you a tomato?

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Why did the baby cross the road? It's abusive father punted it.

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your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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