So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Good friends enjoying a summer activity.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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Q. What do you get when a banana and a person mate? A. The banana suffocates

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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Knock knock? Who's there? A Jehovah's Witness. Oh. Knock knock? Who's there? Not me!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he was hungry and mcdonalds was across the street

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible

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why was the boy laying on the ground? he got shot in the head

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Can I ask you a question? You just did

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What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

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Why can't Bob go to the store? He's dead.

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Knock knock whos there? A dead black man ... i farted

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A three and a half foot tall clown walks into a bar, it is quickly learned that he is only 8 years old and is excorted out by security.

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Okay, I just really want you to trust me again,

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Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Guess no ones home.

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Your mama's so fat.

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What rhymes with bigger and can jump really high? Tigger

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You're tall.

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P.E.N.I.S P-enis E-nis N-is I-s S

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Why did the cancer patient shave his head? He wanted to pretend he still had hair.

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Two men walk into a bar... ..I didn't say what type of bar...

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Miranda Cosgrove's singing career. ......Thats it. Thats the joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops