What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

It’s dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

ive got a joke for you Nicki minajs ase

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Racial Equality.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

thumb_up thumb_down -114

What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

what did batman say to robin before getting into the car? get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

thumb_up thumb_down -141

What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

What's faster than a black guy with your TV? Probably someone who doesn't have to carry such a heavy object.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

What do you call a black man that goes to college? A student..

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What's the square root of four? Two.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Get me a sandwich, bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the blond play Russian roulette? She is very poor and needs the money so she can feed her son.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

banana

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the cat say to another ? meow

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops