Here's a little diddy I wrote for One Direction: Now One Direction, don't forget that we all know About the antics that you pull at your own live shows Like you take your own lyrics and give 'em a swerve Now they either make no sense or make you sound like pervs And Liam, why you swiping cameras and phones? What you need a girl's number cause you're crusin alone? And another thing, it's a frickin spoon for God's sake What did this thing impale your puppy with a giant frickin stake? And so One Direction, we now all think That in about a year, y'all are gonna go N*SYNC and disappear cause N*SYNC isn't around any...aw you know!

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the slaughter-house.

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What is black and white and red all over? Yemen's national flag.

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What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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modern love

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What do you call a black girl scout? A brownie

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Why did the kid punch the other kid. Because he was black.

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How much cocaine has Charlie Sheen done? enough to put your health at risk

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How many 1 ft dwarfs does it take to climb up a 55 ft ladder? Only one. It's just a ladder. All you gotta do is climb up it.

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Why wasn't the black guy allowed into the bar? Because the bar was closed.

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lets have sex, ok, but itll have to be anal, cuz im a guy xoxox danni

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A YouTube brawl began between two gentlemen in the comment section. They agreed to a final answer and moved on.

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How do you get a Blonde to switch seats with you? Ask her politely.

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What did the man with cancer do? Die

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What did the young girl say to her step-dad? Nothing. She no longer talks to him after years and years of sexual abuse which left her emotionally scarred.

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What's tan, red, black and brown? Your face. Two days later... In the mausoleum. "Your face"

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KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's

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In Soviet Russia, it is the largest country in the world. A lot of the parts are uninhabitable though.

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Penis.

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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what do a parrot and a hippo have in common? i want to kill every non white human being!!!!

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What does a baby sound like being cooked in the microwave. I don't know I was to busy masterbating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops