Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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A buissnes man walks into a meeting and says hello i'm a buissnesman

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Why can't you tell Knock-Knock jokes in a Japanese farmhouse? Because your fist will go through the rice paper.

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What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

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Anthony Dephillips is handsome

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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What did grandma receive for her 75th birthday? Alzheimer's.

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What did Michael Jackson get for Christmas? Nothing he's dead

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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson? I thought you were dead.

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Your moms so poor that when she went to buy a bag of chips, she couldn't buy the bag of chips, because she didn't have enough money to buy the bag of chips

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if Ruddell was gay what would he be? A gay prick!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot. You racist bastard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DANII AND SCAFFHOLDING? ONLY ONE STILL HAS A POLE 1 LIKE = 1 TEAR FOR DANII

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Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

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Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

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Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call the twin towers? An airport

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What is the difference between a blonde and a Mexican? Their hair color.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things, because a dead baby isn't funny at all.

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What time is it when you should go to the dentist? About ten minutes before whatever happens to be the time of your appointment.

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What is large, white, and can't climb trees? A refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops