Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is your mom

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What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

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Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

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What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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How do you make a model ugly? you shoot her in the face.

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why did the building fall down the terrorists came back

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What do you call two black men in bed? Twix

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What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

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There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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Q: What dosent a Jew and a pizza have in commen? A: The pizza dosent scream when you put it in the oven.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What about the vampires?

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Why did Susie fall off the swing Because she had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there... Not Susie Why did the plane crash Susie was flying it

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TEAM Together Everyone Argues More

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Two men are sitting on a park bench discussing the anatomy of goats. Where is Bertha? Teaching the principals of mathematics to blind orphins in Moscow, Russia.

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Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

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Bill: Whats 2 + 2? Joe: Your mom

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What is the difference between a girl and a boy? Well, a girl has two x-chromosones but a boy has and X and a Y chromosone.

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Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

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wanna hear a good anti-joke? no, anti-jokes are a waste of time.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come home from camp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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