How do you get three Canadians out of a pool? Say "Hey guys time to get out of the pool."

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? playing spin the bottle with your mom

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what happened to the black guy after he turned off the light? he probably wanted to save energy, so he moved to a different room with natural sunlight as a light resource.

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What did the dog say to the cat? "Bark."

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Why can't you tell Knock-Knock jokes in a Japanese farmhouse? Because your fist will go through the rice paper.

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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Q: why was the cow in the middle of the road? A: because it was dead

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What did Michael Jackson get for Christmas? Nothing he's dead

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Dead.

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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A Girl Who was very close to er grandmother got a text from her mom who was very new to texting, she thought lol meant "Lots Of Love" wel it turns out the Girl's Grandmother Passed away Sunday Morning And the Mom sent the text to the girl saying " Your Grandmother Got hit by a truck and died lol" the Girl Killed Herself that night becasue Of her mom, LESSON LEARNED< LEARN HOW TO TEXT.

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Kathy Griffin.

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What is the answer to number 7 on the test? Time for you to get a watch.

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Your momma went to the gym, because she is fat.

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Your momma's so stupid that as a child she was often afraid to show her report card to her parents, for fear of their disapproval.

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Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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What kind of sex do you have with twenty seven year olds any kind you want there are twenty of them

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Daniel Textor can suck a gooch he's such a F - A - GGGGG!! Let's beat him up at lunch.

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Halts Maul Reid. Das ist, was ich rede.

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A homosexual walks into a church

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knock knock who's there? It's Jim we haven't seen each other since college Why hello there come on in

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If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around, does anyone really care?

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Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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