What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

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What do you get when you mix Catholicism and Islam? War

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A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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trumpy trumpy trump

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Why did Sam have no friends? Because he was dead.

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In Soviet Russia, millions of innocents died due to the oppression.

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No, we got to speak now, or you know, never.

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What do you call an Arab on a plane? A passenger, you racist!

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Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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Q: What is wrong on many different levels? A: Rape on an elevator.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Someone threw birdseed.

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What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

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Your time.

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On Friday the 13th,I had one of those dreams of when you go to school in your underwear. I then realised it wasn't a dream.

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whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

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Tic tac toe. You were adopted.

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two elderly men were sitting in the sun discussing their lives. The first man says "my life was horrible as I had to walk to work uphill in the snow with no boots on a daily basis" The second man looks at the first and replies "you know why my life was horrible?.. I was born a jewish man in Germany during the second world war and was injustly judged and harrassed nearly to death on a daily basis"

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say this really fast dick chick, chick, dick, dick chick,chick dick, dick chick if you cant like it

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if life gives you lemonnde your probally halusinating

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What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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