What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Whats the differance between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's worse than an anti-joke? People who don't get the concept of an anti-joke and post regular jokes on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Usually, the bad (anti) jokes are the ones that don't make you laugh. Sometimes you laugh "with" the joke, other times, you laugh at the joke itself because it is a paragon for human failure. The jokes on this website are not exempt from that rigid stipulation. However, it should be noted that all the "jokes" on this particular website are actually hilarious because of the latter reason delineated in the above paragraph. Additionally, this joke was created by a machine and thus the originator of this work is by no means able to learn from the process of trial and error and therfore can make myriad unfunny jokes without compromise.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why do guys like Halloween? Martin Luther posted the 95 theses in 1517 on this day.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Did you hear about the Blonde who fell off a cliff You Have? Oh Ok, Have a nice day

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Knock knock. Is someone there?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's black and white and red allover and can't fit through the door? A nun with a spear through her neck

thumb_up thumb_down +37

the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's black and white and read all over? A zebra family that was just murdered by African poachers.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I can't see my forehead

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Wanna hear a joke? A Republican political activist.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Knock, Knock Who's There? (Silence) Wondering who was there, the man opened the door, to find a baby in a basket in front of him.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The white man comes from European descent and the black man comes from an African descent. This leads to the difference in their skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a dead baby lying in the road? A Tragedy

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Two guys are walking down the street. One asks the other "Nice weather today, huh?" And the other responds "It sure is," and they both continue on with their days.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did one cow say to the other cow? nothing cows cant talk. They did however, exchange glances while chewing grass next to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops