Q. What did Grandmother get Little Boy Johnny for Christmas? A. Nothing. She died on Thanksgiving Day.

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how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Q:What's red and fluffy? A: A blue rock, if blue were red and rocks were fluffy

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My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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Q. What language cant you speak A.Sign language

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

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What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

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A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

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9/11

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What do all of these jokes have in common? They're not funny. You see, the definition of an anti-joke is a "type of indirect humor that involves the joke-teller delivering something which is deliberately not funny, or lacking in intrinsic meaning. The audience is expecting something humorous, and when this does not happen, the irony itself is of comedic value." As this is a page full of anti-jokes, we know to expect the unfunny - thus robbing us of the experience of an anti-joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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