Knock Knock trick or treats? here is the candies, have fun kids!

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A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's the police, they ask the questions.

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whats green and walks? A cabbage, cabbages dont walk

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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Strawberries!

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What's red and hurts your teeth? A brick.

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Why did the man go to sleep at 9:30? Because his mom told him to

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What's the difference between me and convicted pedophile? -The pedophile's been caught ;)

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YEAH WELL SMELL YOUR BREATH U BELLEND

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Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped, turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I lost my job at the tire plant, and how, being out of work and unable to find a new job, I was unable to pay my mortgage. The bank repossessed my house, my wife left me and took custody of the kids, and I ended up having to sell all my remaining possessions and move to a new city in order to try and find employment.

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Why is there a dead pakistani on my couch? Because someone put him there.

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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How do u get a baby to stop choking? Take ur c*ck out if its mouth!!!

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Hey, I just met you... No, I'm your brother. You've known me for 30 years. You must have memory loss.

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tea with milk?

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What did the man with scissors do? He cut his balls off.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

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Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

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What did one deaf mute say to the other deaf mute?

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Leave her alone...

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A chronic hemophiliac walks into a bar. He cuts his leg and bleeds to death.

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Whats worse than getting dirt on your brand new J's Finding your girlfriend cheating on you with your Great Dane and realizing that he dose her better than you.

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What did the duck say to the flag? NOTHING DUCKS CANT SPEAK or flags

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops