Women's rights.

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What's red and hurts your teeth? A brick.

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YEAH WELL SMELL YOUR BREATH U BELLEND

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Why is there a dead pakistani on my couch? Because someone put him there.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, he also had no parents.

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A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

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how many jews can you fit in a volkenswagen? 2 jews in the front 2 jews in the back 15 jews in the ashtray

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WHat did Helen Keller get for Christmas? an ipod

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whats green and walks? A cabbage, cabbages dont walk

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Strawberries!

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Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

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What did the man with scissors do? He cut his balls off.

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tea with milk?

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? 10 dead trashcans in 1 baby

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A Jew, a Mormon, and an Atheist walk out of a bar. They all get in a car with the Jew driving. They were all deceased do to the fact of a very large car accident. Know your limits. Don't drink and drive!

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A chronic hemophiliac walks into a bar. He cuts his leg and bleeds to death.

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A Black Guy, A Mexican, A White guy, an Indian guy, Santa Clause and The Easter Bunny Jump off a 500 foot cliff. Which one dies? The all do. But Santa dies first because of his weight and mass.

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Leave her alone...

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An Asian man and an Irish man are standing at the bus stop, chatting casually, while waiting for the bus to arrive. The Irish man then turns to the Asian and says, "Despite our blatant differences in both race and culture, perhaps someday when we are both available, we can meet and talk civilly about our everyday lives over a cup of coffee."

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What did the duck say to the flag? NOTHING DUCKS CANT SPEAK or flags

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Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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What's the difference between a giraffe and an erection? An erection is much easier to obtain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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