Nippies

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Knock knock Who's there? A pedofile, get in the van Ok

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What is the difference between a dead baby in a blender and a rock? There are many differences. One of them is the fact that I don't masturbate to a rock.

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Christopher Reeve walks into a room.

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ahhh finally removed the splinter I've had for quite some time now. Hopefully that was the last one I'll get for a while...touch wood

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what do you call a blonde that spends fifteen thousand dollars at a bar? an alchoholic.

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They say those with anti-humour are the wisest.

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A cow says moo and explodes.

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Harry Styles! - Louis

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Why did the squirrel cross the... *Squash*

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Why did I get raped

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this girl died

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What did the Batman say to the Joker? "I am the Batman."

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Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"

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How do you confuse and idiot? Purple.

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A choir boy is hit by a car outside church. Someone runs to him and says "shall I fetch the priest?" The boy starts to mumble something but quickly loses consciousness, and later dies after 16 hours in ICU.

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Hey, did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off? Yeah, it was pretty brutal. His right arm and right leg got cut off, too.

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Why did Jesus and his friends get crucified? So they could sing: "Always look at the bright side of life" Moral: Monty Python?

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What can fly for only a short period? A jumper.

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Why dont jews eat pork? Because the torah doesnt allow cannibalism

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What is the greatest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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Q:how do confuse courtney A: give her a beer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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