Three monkeys are sitting in a tree. Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? -He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -Peer pressure.

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Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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i was raised in a bad family. i was the youngest and i was abused then i died three years back. then i died again and then i died again then i died again then again then i LIVED but then i died again then i died again then i died again then i died again

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Socks.

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A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

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Q. did u see Stevie wonders new house A. no me. neither did he

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If woman that have big breasts work at Hooters, then do woman with one leg work at Ihop?

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There was a man from the hood, His limericks weren't very good, So he decided to become a purveyor of monogrammed handkerchiefs and other fine linen products.

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feces

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You are Nerochan right?

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Two men drove their car of a cliff. They died.

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It's Adam and Eve, not Steve and Eve!

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Pull over dat ass to fat, no seriously your blocking a firelane

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A Jewish guy walked into a bar... and said "ow"

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If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

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A fish and a human had a conversation. The conversation was not interesting because fish can't speak and the human felt awkward.

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Have you heard about the Polish hockey team? They're not very good, but what they lack in skills they make up for in enthusiasm and good team spirit.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh damn I'm blind.

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How do you starve a celebrity? Tell them they're fat.

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whats an orphans favorite memory? Not one with his/her parents! PWNED TO ALL YOU ORPHANS OUT THURRRRR!!!!

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i have a black person in my family tree he is still hanging

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how many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? there are no babies they are all dead in my garage

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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