Why did the plan crash? Because the pilot was a potato

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What's worse than spending time with your girlfriend? Nothing.

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What's better than winning the Paralympics? Having legs.

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why did the frog cross the road? because he was attached to the duck

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? If they didn't, their turnout gear would not effectively protect them from flames.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because her dad through a fridge at her

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Roses are red Violets are red Shit My garden's on fire?

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A duck walked into a bar. He asked for a drink and the bartender gave him it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

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Bariande: I have a belly button Kraken: haha who doesnt? MissAwkward: i dont Barinade: neither do i. haha this happened on tiny chat.

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What did the camera man say when the actor took off his pants? Why did you take off your pants?

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What's so good about being Swiss? Well.... The flag's a big plus

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what do you call a screwdriver that thinks it'sa hammer? a screwdriver

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What is blue and looks like a bucket? A blue bucket

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knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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the police there was several calls from people in the sarounding area who heard screaming from ur basement

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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your father died

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Who's a looser and has no friends??? Max!!! His address is 2131 HighHills Narrow...

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How did the man with no arm and no legs get to the store? Well he certainly didn't walk.

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Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops