Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

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What is shaped like a duck without a beak? A duck that I punch the beak off of.

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a donkey? a mule

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A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

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Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: 9/11 jumpers 200 stories in 5 seconds

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Why did the plane crash? There was a horrible mechanical error that caused the main engines to fail.

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Yeah, I never intended to keep that a secret. What is autocast?

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muffled-thud muffled thud who's there? Jeremy Beadle.

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0 + 0 = 0

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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SOPA gets passed and shuts down anti-joke because KFC claims the picture of the anti-joke chicken

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A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!! Everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!!

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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A grandmother in her late seventies is walking to the grocery store. Then out of nowhere,she stats getting pelted by bananas. One hits her hard on the head,and she dies.

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Why was the white guy eating himself? He was a autocannibal.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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Why is six afraid of seven? There might've been a little shooting accident a few days ago which put his mother in the ER. If anyone asks go to a bar and think in your head why you would ask something like that. Let it sink in.

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Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

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JLo made a song about my diick- "On the Floor"

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Who is a knob? ross d

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What's black and white and read all over? A zebra family that was just murdered by African poachers.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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Do you like flowers NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOW GET ME A COKE! And a pizza

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why was little johns' stomach in discomfort? because his mom accidently gave him mercury for breakfast

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops