Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

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Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

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What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

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whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

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- Knock knock - Those knock jokes are getting old - Indeed. Scratch scratch - MY DOOR

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how many babies does it take to paint a house? that is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue your mum went to the loo and out came you

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q

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What's sad about the Holocaust? well i don't know ,it may or may not have anything to do with you and cause absolutely no sad emotions toward the subject. I for one don't care.........

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what do a fish and wood have in common? when they're dead, they float

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: Because of Kevin Spacey's chilling performance.

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What do you call you're mum? Depends who's reading it or just mum

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Why is the apple mushy? Because a car ran over it.

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What's 17 times worse than a 3? I don't know, personally I don't think 3's are so bad.

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A Woman decides she wants to stop making sanwiches for her sexist boyfriend. She walks away and lives a happy life. In hell.

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Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidize her drug habit.'

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What's red and smells like green paint? The rotting corpse of the old lady I poisoned with green paint.

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Why do the piglets have their heads down low? Because they are ashamed that their mom is fat.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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