You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

what's worse than getting a bad test grade? being raped.

what did the angry asian man do after chrashing his car? He died later in the hospital that night from a combination of severe head trauma, internal bleeding, and various fractures.

Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

what did the black guy say to the other black guy? good morning

Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

What do you eat for breakfast and is sometimes blue? Pancakes.

Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white

Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

why did the internet crash? it didn't

Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

What was the worst part about the Holocaust? -When it ended

Roses are Red Violets are blue Goldfish

Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

what is hollow and bloody? Vagina when it gets genital herpes

How many Puerto Ricans does it take to clog the treads of my tank? Eight

If life gives you lemons, you shoud be thankful it didn't give you AIDS.

did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

what do you call a pig that knows karate? pork-chop!

Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

How was the fifty-four year old counselor in nineteen places at once? He was blasted by a cannonball.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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