Why did the the man not take acting? He wasn't good at it.

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Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white

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What has two thumbs and cancer? This guy.

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Your mom walks into a bar.

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did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

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what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

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Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

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"Behold, the greatest invention Man has ever seen!" exclaimed the inventor of eyes.

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Flop dog

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

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if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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If life gives you lemons, you shoud be thankful it didn't give you AIDS.

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what did the black guy say to the other black guy? good morning

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Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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How was the fifty-four year old counselor in nineteen places at once? He was blasted by a cannonball.

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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