A boy found a nickel on the street. So he went to the ice cream shop and bought a gumball with the nickel.

A turkey and a ham walk into a room. The ham says to the turkey "You're a turkey." The turkey in response says, "Yeah, well you're a ham!" They both then get their heads chopped off, as the room they were in was a slaughterhouse.

This is a haiku I said this is a haiku You read a haiku

What's the difference between women and a bucket? before 1923, women didn't have the right to vote. Bucket's still don't.

what did the pregnant black woman say to the white man I'm pregnant

I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

The weels on the bus go...flat

What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree? My penis whilst im doing it.

2 dogs one jar of peanut butter

What happened when john pelted susie with a rock? she had a temporary concusion, needed eight stitches and John was grounded

So a catholic priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a beer.

Wats worse than bitting into apple and finding a worm Bitting into an apple and finding an alligator

Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and stink.

Roses are red, violets are blue i've got a gun, pointing at you

Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

How come Emmet Till never attended college? Because he was brutally murdered.

Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. It was a dead monkey.

GEORGE LOPEZ SUCKS

What did the German say when the whole of India blew up: "Wow, das muss eine gewaltige Explosion haben! Wie haben sie das geschafft?"

Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

Whats Black and blue My wife after i beat her ass.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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