Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the other birds had taken hostage the chickens family.

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#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

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Roses are red Voilets are blue I have a gun Get in the Van

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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I saw a woman get donkey punched in the middle of the street. Nero the clit collector: You know... What is it called when A donkey kinda lifts its front hoove and hits a woman? ...WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR COIN COLLECTION? YOUR STAMPS ARE MURDER! (or something) At least my uh... "Friends" survive... SOMETIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! ...And then I kill them.

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Yo mama's so fat she couldn't ride on roller coasters with you in Disney world. Sometimes you wish you could share more fond memories with her.

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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*spongebob voice* 25

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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Neither does he.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Baby you think i loved you, but you got played too

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Rather rich and healthy, then poor and sick.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Bailiffs.

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Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

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I see London, I see France, I am in an airplane on my way to Europe.

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save water shower with friends

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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Which side of a chicken has more feathers? The outside.

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How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

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Did you hear about the deer? He had antlers. If antlers where a kind of disease, that would be a pun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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