What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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An Irish man walks out of a bra.

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

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Why are Asians so smart? Because they study

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What do you get when mix an orange with juice? Orange juice.

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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Why did Michael Jackson became a white person? Because the society hates black people

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A man walks to a bar. The door was locked and had a closed sign so he walks away and goes home.

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It smells like triangles in here.

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How do you kill a Chinese man? There are many ways, all of which are horrible

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What starts with a P and ends with a O-R-N? Popcorn

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why did the imagrant cross the road the cops were on his tail for false identity of the chicken

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What happens when you mix Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, and Potassium? NaBrO

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What did the T-rex say to the velociraptor? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? To end her misery.

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When life gives you melons, youre probably dyslexic.

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If we all evolved from apes. Abbie didnt go that far

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There was once a boy named Swan, But then they built Autobahn.

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omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

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why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it with an axe.

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What do you call it when Chuck Norris gambles? Chuck Norris does not gamble. That would imply the chance of losing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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