How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

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People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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A walrus walks into a bar

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Knock Knock. Who's there? God. God Who? ::Apocalypse follows::

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and chess? Michael Jackson's dead.

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What did the boy do when he got an F on his English paper? -Laughed.

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What do you call a group of angry unemployed black guys? The NBA

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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Yo mama is so fat, she had to get liposuction.

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Old McDonald had a farm But due to the lack of government subsidies, he was unable to make his mortgage payments, causing the bank to foreclose on his property.

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Josh Hamilton walks into a bar.

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So Jimmy's phsycology teacher is trying to think of beginnig lessons for her phsycology class. so she gets up and says "class, i want u anyone who thinks they are stupid to stand up." nobody stood up. then Jimmy stands up. The teacher says "Jimmy, u think u are stupid?" Jimmy replies "No, i just felt bad with u standing up all alone."

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If 1 + 2 = 3 Then, what does 2 + 1 equal? It equals 3 due to the fact that reversing the order of numbers does not change the outcome of the equation :D

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How do you keep a black man from robbing your house? Lock your doors, or perhaps get a update-to-date security system.

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A Mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What's Mexico's favorite sport? Cross Country

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John: Hey Bill, ORANGE you in the mood to go to a Phillies game? Bill: Yes! So let's make like a banana and raise our potassium levels drastically and leave right away to beat the rush hour traffic.

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Knock knock Who's there Interrupting camel (Interrupt with nothing) Camels can't talk.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Ze Gestapo!

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How much does a mexican immigrant get paid? Less an minimum wage.

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What is the difference between assault and aggravated assault? Aggravated assault is aggravated, whereas assault is aggravated.

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have you ever noticed that when geese are flying in a V, that one side is longer? Do you know why? no...why? There is more on one side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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