How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Generally one, however, in cases where the light fixture is unusually high, a ladder may be necessary. Some people like having a second person hold the ladder as they climb it. In this unconventional circumstance, it would take precisely two Jews to change a lightbulb. Also, Jews are bad people.

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Why did Jack got late to his date? Because he was playing Call of Duty and forgot about the time.

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They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

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Yo Momma is so fat that she is heavier than most other women her age

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.....Carrot Top....

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I went to the game and saw a Mexican wave. So I waved back at him.

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Why did Alice fail Maths? Because everybody else was Asian.

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Wade's the father

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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A woman walked into the doctors office with a black eye. The doctor asked: How did you get that? The woman said: I fell.

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Why did Sally eat popcorn? She was watching a movie

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A guy walks into a bar. He's thirsty and wants a beer.

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a hard working man goes home after a long day at work to find that his wife left him for his even harder working father.

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What sound does a baby make in a blender? Idk, i was too busy masturbating to hear.

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. A. Knock, Knock! B. Who's There? Not Suzie.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a jar filled with money. He asks the bartender, "What`s all this money for?" The bartender replies, "It`s Breast Cancer Awareness month and we are collecting donations." The man puts in $5, and continues on with his night.

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What do you get when you mix a panda,oklahoma,and a handle? The oklahoma panhandle.

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Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a genetically disfigured fish please stop pollution.

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what's worse than the holocaust living jews

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why did billy drop his ice cream? he got hit by a plane that a loaf of bread was driving

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Where's Waldo? Nowhere. Waldo is a fictional character. He doesn't exist.

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A choir boy is hit by a car outside church. Someone runs to him and says "shall I fetch the priest?" The boy starts to mumble something but quickly loses consciousness, and later dies after 16 hours in ICU.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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