What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

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I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? To save the endangered child from getting hit by a car across the street.

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What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

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A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

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who likes it up the anus? jason frisone at saybrook ave 08094 williamstown new jersey thats who

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What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

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Why did Patrick buy an apple? So he can eat it

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So a black man, a white man and a latina walk into a sentence that doesn't end how you expected it to.

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How is butter and your mom similar? They both consist of much fat.

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What did the man do after he took a bite of his pie? Chew. After that? Swallow. Then? Repeat.

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Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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I walked into a bar and it hurt because it was metal

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Steve,Jerry and tom all go into the mens toilets, because they are men.

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Why didn't the black man drink out of the white water fountain? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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A russian gives away vodka.

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How do you kill half the population of Mexico? A preemptive nuclear strike.

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Hearpin my durp

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I am on a escalator.

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What do you get when you read a book? More knowledge in your brain.

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a fat black man walks into an aquarium he was quickly shot down because he was mistaken for a whale.

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roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

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knock knock who's there? Barbra Streisand Barbra Streisand who? Barbra? Streisand whoo oo oooo oo oo oo ooo ooo!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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