An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem's cool. I ran over your dog.

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3 dogs, a blue dog, a yellow dog, and a red dog. The owner was a man named Jeff. Now the blue dog was always sad so Jeff named him blue. The yellow dog was always scared so Jeff named him yellow. Now the red dog he was red because he had red fur, so Jeff named him red. One day when Jeff was reading his newspaper, he accidentally hit his coffee and it fell on the floor. Question: What did Jeff do? I don't know.

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Obamacare haters

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What did the man do after he took a bite of his pie? Chew. After that? Swallow. Then? Repeat.

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what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

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This isn't a joke, but I'm going to ruin the fun of this site by clicking the thumbs up until I one day get onto the first page.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy Get in the van

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Row, row, row your... Canoe.

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What did timmy fall off the swings? He had no arms

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That awkward when you adimaticlly read "moment in your head because you have seen too many of these awkward moment jokes.

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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You can buy me a rose, and if I love roses, that rose would make me happy, you can buy me a large house by the ocean, but if I do not like big empty spaces and dislike the sea, it would make me sad. I am no longer sure what would make me happy, so no.

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So a disabled man walks into a bar...

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Yes" the man replies, because he is aware that the bartender wasn't actually asking if the day way long, but rather if the day was hard.

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What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

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How do u shit With ur ass

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Q: Whats worse that 10 dead babies in a trash can? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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Guess what? No.

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How did the mermaid break her arm? She fell out of a tree.

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Did you hear about Judith? she was hit by a bus!

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what's really good and is on TV Jersey Shore

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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