- Anti Joke

knock knock whos there? the police, your under arrest

Why was the black man a victim of racial prejudice? because he was black

I see London, I see France, I am in an airplane on my way to Europe.

Q:If pigs ever played basketball, then what sound would they make? A:Oink-oink

How do you kill half the population of Mexico? A preemptive nuclear strike.

An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

Justin Bieber walked into a gay-bar, The whole world applauded.

Steve,Jerry and tom all go into the mens toilets, because they are men.

why did the kid get chemotherapy? because he had cancer

Why do black people sit so far back in their seats? Because they're used to sitting in the back of the bus

what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

Your mother is so fat........... that she is morbidly obese and is at severe risk for diabetes and other weight related diseases.

Why was the black man escorted out of the bar. He was 10

Its true, he didnt write that!!

Q. Why was the dad sad? A.His favorite team lost in the championship.

Did you know Hellen Keller had a swing set? No? Well neither did she.

Why was Bill in jail? He stabbed 17 black people because they didn't deserve welfare checks.

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

Why did the Mexican cross the road? To get home.

How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

A duck waddles into a bar. He orders a drink and promtly drinks it vecause he has had a hard day at work.

watermelons are red, pineapples are yellow. i'm not a poet, say hello for me.

What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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