A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

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Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

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Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

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what ya call e dong withb eyes peeneyes

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A guy walks into a bar. The universe instantly shatters around him under the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through the void amongst the shards of his broken reality. This is the worst joke ever.

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how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

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Two Atheists walk into a bar. A nearby Christian notices this fact and proceeds to slightly preach to both of the Atheists. They then kindly explain that they don't personally believe in God, but respect the Christian's opinion. They all order drinks, and become very close friends, engaging in a long, hateless conversation.

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What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

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Q: What do you call a hobo asking for change? A: Get off my driveway!

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What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a chest of drawers. The Englishman put a flask of coffee in the top drawer without even looking. Diane hates wrestling.

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? Alan. He's studying environmental engineering at NYU.

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An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

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SCHNARRRRRR!!!!!

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Why is it hot outside? Because God made it so.

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knock knock whos there? the police, your under arrest

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What do you call a black man working for Bank of America? A successful individual.

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Q:If pigs ever played basketball, then what sound would they make? A:Oink-oink

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Why was the black man a victim of racial prejudice? because he was black

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I see London, I see France, I am in an airplane on my way to Europe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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