What's the difference between red paint and blue paint? One looks like blood and is used a lot in restaurants. The other is blue.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Segregation

Kerry Katona becomes independent.

A man runs into a bar. He is instantly knocked out.

The 13th Amendment...

what long hard and in a tight hole? a penis in a vagina

Listen Nero, lol "listen", anyway, you seem pretty quick to take the blame for my mistakes here, I mean sigh... ...I would never send anyone to harass anyone, but then again I should never allowed them to join in the first place, how bad is that eye doing by the way? I am deeply sorry, I never meant for anything like this to happen. I am eating as I write, I mean I am still scared, I would not blame you if you still keep burning anger towards me.

What's the difference between me and a ghost? Ghosts aren't Dolphins!

Old McDonald had a farm But due to the lack of government subsidies, he was unable to make his mortgage payments, causing the bank to foreclose on his property.

If you're doing a maths test, what type of pickles are best when licking a baseball bat? Sasquatch

How did Pikachu jump off of a 100 story building and survive? He's not real

I know a black girl named beyonca.

what do you call a boomerang that never comes back? stick

What do you call a women in the kitchen? A caterer

Why did the 15 year old girl not enjoy her taco? Because the man making her taco was kid napped and replaced with a female that forgot to put cheese on it.

Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

I had a "What would jesus do bracelet" and some kid kicked me in the shin... As i was contemplating on what to do to him, i looked at the bracelet and remembered.... SO I SET HIM ON FIRE AND SENT HIM TO HELL!!!

Why did Jack explode? He had a sneezier and his army friend Stephan threw a grenade at him because he was scared.

Why did the old man have only one foot? Sadley, the other one was shot off in World War II and life hasnt been the same for him since.

A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back distinctly better at the Trumpet.

A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

A man and woman was sitting at a bar. The man bought the woman a roofied drink and she has never been seen again.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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