roses are red, violets are red, my garden is on fire

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Kerry Katona becomes independent.

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road? He wasn't, and in fact was entirely unaware that said road existed given the fact that he was deceased; and therefore lacked any sensory organs and motor functions associated with crossing roads.

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There was a car crash in Mexico, 78 people were announced dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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What is the Civil War called in Virginia? The War of Northern Aggression.

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If your South American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom? European ( your a pee an)

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i have a white dog on my and have the strangest boner

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Not Steve Jobs.

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How is it called a black man piloting a plane? Pilot, you racist!

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Q: why did the little girl cry on Christmas? A: because she got a dead cat.

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why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was taken to a factory where it was butchered, processed and eventually fed to America.

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Hickory Dickory Dock mother is a whore

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

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If Jimmy has 50 pieces of candy and eats 40 of them, what does he have now? Jimmy has diabetes.

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theres a mexican, an asian, and an american in a plane, they're about to crash, so they all have to throw out something they have a lot of in their country. The Mexican throws out beans, and says "I have to many of these in my country." The Asian throws out rice and says "i have to many of these in my country." The American throws out the Mexican and says "I have to many of these in my country."

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whats funnier than drews nose .... ??

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What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

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why?

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What did the robot say to the centipede? STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!!!! It's funny cause the robot ain't got no arms.

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What do you get when you cross a lion with a rhinoceros? A trip to the hospital and animal cruelty charges.

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roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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