What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

whats the difference between a joke and the holocaust? ...There both funny..Exept for the Holocaust.

Hey I had a wet and dirty dream about you last night. Really? What happened? You got hit by a bus and I pissed myself laughing. .......

What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

a fat black man walks into an aquarium he was quickly shot down because he was mistaken for a whale.

Blonde Entrepeneurs

Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

Why did the Football Coach go to the Bank?? To Cash his Paycheck.

Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia They had communism

What did the town guard say to the adventurer? "I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I got a full-time job so that I could support my family and spend more time with my children."

Going for the Dislike record woot I farted!

What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

Knock Knock. Who's there? Nancy Nancy who? Nancy.

Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Child Protection Services. ...............

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

How do u shit With ur ass

Why do black people like Basketball so much? Because it is a sport participated world wide. They just happen to like it too.

What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

If I could change one thing about the alphabet, knd stte bporw xzuor flllle !

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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