I have no ideas.

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In Soviet Russia ? ??? ??? ????????.

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A black and a mexican start a resturaunt it turns out to be a big success and they make a chain and profit from it.

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Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

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why was the boy so ugly, because he had downs

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What do you call 10,000 lawers jumping out of a plane? A good start.

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What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead. Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? A: Because he was stapled to the monkey.

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So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

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D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

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What’s black and white and red all over? A zebra in a meat grinder

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Why did the used car salesman stop selling cars? He got fired.

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Two nuns walk into a bar. There is a monkey between them, that they are both holding hands with. The bartender looks to them, and says "Hello sisters, I am sorry, but we do not allow wild animals into the bar. He's gonna have to wait outside," to which one of the nuns responds, "Oh, do not worry, this is no monkey, this is one of our sisters." The bartender is very confused. He chuckles, and says "Alright, well then your sister is going to have to wait outside." The sisters look at each other confusedly, but take the monkey outside, put it on a leash, and tie it to a pole. They proceed back inside, have a few drinks, and leave. The next night, the bar is a little more crowded. The bartender looks up and sees the two nuns entering. He checks to make sure there is no monkey with them, and there is not, so he goes back to serving drinks. A few minutes later, the two nuns are at the front of the bar ready to order drinks. The bartender smiles at them, "No monkey this time?" he asks. "Not tonight," says one of the nuns. "Alright," says the bartender, "what can I get you?" "I'll take a double bourbon," says one of the nuns. "I'll have a gin and tonic, and she'll have the same" says the other nun, motioning to a rhinoceros on her left. "What the fuck!!" yells the bartender. "How did you get this inside?! Where did you even get a rhinoceros?" He realizes these questions are unimportant, and runs to call animal control. By the time he turns around, however, the rhinoceros is gone. He goes to talk to the bouncer. "Dude, why do you keep letting in wild animals?" asks the bartender. "The hell are you talking about?" asks the bouncer. "Last night, two nuns walked in with a monkey, and tonight they somehow got a rhino past you. You didn't see that??" the bartender snaps. "Three nuns came in last night, and three came in tonight. No monkey, no rhino," the bouncer tells him. Meanwhile, as they walked home to the convent, one of the nuns says "Man, I haven't been drunk in weeks." One of the other nuns turns to her and says, "Well, maybe you should stop turning into an animal every time we get into a bar."

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HOLY SHIT BITCH!!!

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Why did the woman have sex with the man? Because she is over 18, which is above all of the legal consent ages in the United States.

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

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How do you wake up your snoring friend? Cut his feet off.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What did the cancer patient do during Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair"? -Nothing.

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Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

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You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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